"Love child"…..Have you heard of this term? I came to know
quite recently. It means a child who is born out of wedlock. As a soft skill
trainer I must speak the right words to people. It is yet another sensitive
issue to discuss in an open forum in our country. The law has made some
amendments for the rights of these children. However they carry a stigma like a
permanent tattoo. This leaves a dirty mark and the unwed mother and child do
face a lot of unpleasant encounters.
Motherhood is one of the biggest boon for any woman, however
the absence of this sacred ritual called marriage over takes the status of a
woman. She and her child are branded as curse!!! Equating sex with morality is
“the reason” in India. Therefore these ladies are not free whereas the men can
be hassle free and do enjoy a very normal life.
Psychologically speaking, the emotions of these victims over
flow in many situations and when they try to suppress it in their tender heart,
it gets more life… So when it explodes there is a huge noise!!! Getting
attracted physically is quite common these days. And thinking that it is “love”
is even more common. People use the most effective feeling called “love” as a
crutch to quench their biological needs. The vulnerable and the weaker person
in this entire bargain is “the woman”. I seriously don’t support Ms. Deepika
Padukone for her “choicest” statements.
She is a celebrity and her financial independence will not affect her
much. But the young girls and even some educated modern women become dumb at
times to believe in this kind of sugar coated words. Something shields them
emotionally to fall for a person whose intentions are not good at all.
I spoke about good touch, bad touch and the confusing touch
at Gitam University for ECE class in 2009, all I could witness was pin drop
silence. It was a taboo subject to talk openly as students were not feeling
comfortable. However I saw a sea change in Delhi because the same topic was
chosen for sixth and seventh standard students in 2013. It is a welcome move by
schools in Delhi to introduce these topics, because the emotional roller
coaster ride is suffered by these children who are born out of wed lock is
phenomenon.
Society is changing towards unwed mothers and they are
getting respect but still a long way to go. Being a mother is not at all easy,
she has to mask all her ordeals and wear a smile in front of her child. And it
is not “cool” to be an unwed mom in our conventional Indian society. So
ladies…do not let your focus on glib promises, it will make you cry at the end.
My humble appeal to men is…Please don’t make any emotional
and life assuring costly promise to your woman if you are not sure of marrying
her. Because it is easy for you to make….but tough for women to deliver and
endure!!!
( Mr. Rohit Tiwari (love child of ND Tiwari) has filed a case in
the Supreme court seeking the removal of words like concubine, illegitimate and
bastard from our law books. )
